Thursday, February 03, 2011

“Life's Little Goodies: Everyone is Dealing with Something”

When I first started online a hundred yeas ago my favorite Internet personality was a guy named “Boogie Jack”. He taught me a lot about building websites in his informative newsletter, but he also has taught me a lot about life with his philosophy. Each issue of his ezine covers a little gem like the one I’ve posted below. Find out more about Booj at his website . He’s written a few books so he really knows his stuff, and he’s an all around great guy.gia_glasses08

-----------------------------------------Everyone is dealing with something. Yes, that includes me. It's a recurring theme in our lives. We all have our secret (or not so secret) trials and tribulations.

Yet, when we look at other people we often think they don't have life struggles like we do because there are no visible signs. We humans seem to be masters of disguise!

In spite of what we see, many people aren't as happy as the face they put on for us would indicate. That's truly a shame, because much of the time they could be.

What does the following line say:


Did you read that as my happiness is nowhere, or my happiness is now here?

Very often, happiness depends on where we place our attention. Studies have shown that those who are happiest live in the moment. Those who dwell too much on the past or future are missing the only moment it is possible to be happy ... now.

You can't become happy, for that places happiness in the future. You can only be happy now. As simplistic as it may sound, Bobby McFerrin had it right—don't worry, be happy.

But, what is happiness? One definition the dictionary gives is this:

A pleasurable or satisfying experience.

These are the feel-good emotions that most people associate happiness with, such as love, elation, and passion. But emotions are fleeting. So we keep chasing after those feel-good moments to get another happiness fix.

This endless chase is one of the chief causes of unhappiness! It becomes like an addiction. We feel good when we get a fix, and don't feel right when we need one.

The dictionary also describes happiness as:

A state of well-being and contentment.

A state of well-being and contentment isn't a fleeting emotion, it's a lasting, long term state of being. It comes from inside of us rather than coming from external emotional fixes.

It comes from having a purpose (goals) and making steady progress toward that purpose. It comes from the satisfaction in knowing we are growing in maturity, wisdom, and our capacity to love. It comes from serving others as well as taking care of ourselves. It comes from accepting life as it is while working to make it better. And, it comes from being kind to ourselves and forgiving our own faults, as well as being kind and forgiving to others.

Maybe we confuse emotional highs with lasting happiness. Perhaps we're happier than we think we are. Advertisers are always trying to tell us what we need to buy to be happy, but happiness doesn't come from without, it comes from within.

All happiness is self-generated. If it were external events that bring us happiness, the same event would make everyone happy. That is clearly not the case. It's not the events that make us happy, but our belief and expectation of happiness as the outcome that makes it so.

Happiness comes most often when we aren't trying to cage it, so rather than seeking happiness today, try to spread happiness around. You may be delighted to discover that happiness finds you.

Here's something you can do today: Turn off any distractions and sit quietly. Close your eyes. Think to yourself, "I choose to be happy today." Then smile. Dwell in that moment for next 30 seconds.

See if that doesn't make you feel just a little bit happier.

Happiness doesn't depend on any external conditions, it is governed by our mental attitude.
- Dale Carnegie

Happiness consists in activity. It is running steam, not a stagnant pool.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes

If you want to be happy, be.
- Leo Tolstoy

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
- Mark Twain

We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.
- Frederick Keonig

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